So Much
by SparksStar39
Summary: Katie Bell reflects on her life, and what's been missing from it since the war ended. FRATIE because its cute. FWKB Song Inspiration: Have You Seen Me Lately by: Keri Noble Rated T just to be safe


I turned slightly in my bed, and opened my eyes. I was met with the early morning sun peeking its way through the window by my bed. The morning was strangely still, and extremely quiet. The birds weren't making noise in their nest right outside my bedroom window, and there was no noise made downstairs.

_Of course there wasn't any noise downstairs, _Katie thought cynically to herself. _You live alone now. Don't you remember? _

A short, but sharp pain shot through her heart as that last thought slipped into her mind. She hadn't forgotten that she lived alone now. How could she have forgotten? She was left alone in the world now, all thanks to him. She was left alone for this world because he had gone off and _died _on her. The idiot.

"_Move in with me, Freddie?" Katie asked while grabbing a cup of coffee. She glanced over at Fred, who was sitting at her kitchen table, reading the Daily Prophet. He made a face at her nickname for him. She giggled, and sat down across from him at the round table. "Fred, you said yourself that you need a new place to stay, now with Angelina moving into the flat with George." He made another face at this, and took a sip of his coffee. _

"_I don't know, Kates. Don't people usually have their first date before they move in with each other? What's next, are you going to ask me to marry you? Kids?" He grinned over at her, and laughed. She rolled her eyes and hit his arm playfully. _

"_Fred Weasley, you know damn well that's not what I meant." He laughed, and shrugged. _

"_Well, alright then. I s'pose I could move in... You seem to need someone like me around this place anyway." She giggled and took another sip of her coffee._

"_Right, because you're such a big, strong, strapping man, Freddie." She smirked at the nickname she used to tease him with since her first year at Hogwarts. He set the paper down, and leaned forward in his chair. _

"_Alright, Bell. I'll make a deal with you." He smiled at her, and she nodded. "I'll move in with you, if..." His light brown eyes shot up to meet her dark brown ones. _

"_If...?" She looked over to him, wanting to hear this ridiculous condition that he's thought up._

"_If you go out with me." Katie giggled, and he shot a nervous grin her way, trying not to seem to discouraged by her laughing at him. She rolled the Daily Prophet up and hit him on the arm once again. _

"_Fred Weasley! You just can't ask a person out like that!" He laughed, and took a gulp of his steaming coffee._

"_So that's a yes?"_

_Katie leaned back in the chair and tapped her chin a few times, pretending to contemplate what she was going to say for a great while. He leaned back in his chair too, and crossed his arms. She glanced over at him for a moment, and laughed. _

"_Freddie, of course I'll go out with you." Katie got up from her chair, and went over to hug him. He grinned, ears pink, and hugged her back._

Katie Bell sighed, and sat up in bed, taking all the time she could to stretch. She looked around her somewhat cluttered room, and over to the door. She half expected Fred Weasley to walk through her door, holding a tray of breakfast he attempted to make for her. She gave a small, sad smile at that thought. Some days when Fred was in a really good mood, he would get up a little early to try and cook breakfast for her in bed. Of course, Fred wasn't the best of cooks, and the spread was nothing spectacular, but Katie always knew that it was the thought that counted. She tore her eyes away from her white bedroom door, and got out of bed.

Katie made her way to the small bathroom she used to share with Fred when he was still alive. She opened the door, and walked over to the shower. She pulled the curtain back, and started to run the hot water, which always seemed to take forever heating up. She turned to look in the mirror that hung over the sink, and looked herself over a few times.

_I look like a wreck. _She thought sadly to herself. This wasn't the girl she used to know. Over a year ago, Katie Bell would have looked at her reflection and smiled at herself. She would see a girl who was pretty, slender, with hair that was long and shiny. She would see the reflection of a girl who's eyes would shine brightly back at her, and she would see a smiling face. She would seem to emit a brightness, and a sort of sunny disposition around her. The Katie Bell she used to know, who she _used to be _was gone. Now, when she looked at her reflection in the large bathroom mirror, she could almost cringe. Instead of her old slender, somewhat athletic body she used to possess, she was met with an overly-thin, fragile looking girl. A girl whose brown hair did not shine when the light hit it, but fell limp around her shoulders and down her back. She looked up at her face, and looked back at it sadly. Her smile never quite reached her eyes anymore. Her eyes had lost their sparkle almost a year ago when her world had come crashing down. Tomorrow, it would be one year since the death of Fred Weasley.

Seeing the steam fill up the small bathroom, Katie decided to strip down and get in the shower. She pulled the curtain back and stepped in, her body meeting the stream of hot water. Her body relaxed somewhat against the warmth, but not fully. Katie Bell could never relax anymore, and she knew somewhere deep inside of her that she never really had since his death.

_Stop thinking like that. _She mentally scolded herself. _What would _he _say if you were like this? _That thought alone made her shake the depressing thoughts out of her head and continue with her morning shower.

After about fifteen more minutes in the bathroom, Katie stepped back into her room and pulled out some clothes to wear for the day. She looked at an unrolled letter on her dresser and gave a small smile. The letter was from one of her best friends Alicia Spinnet. Katie had not seen her good friend since Fred's funeral. She was excited to see her old friend again and do some catching up. In the letter, Alicia had mentioned meeting at some muggle-cafe to tell her 'something big'. This made her smile, and Katie turned back to pick out her outfit for the day.

She glanced over to the clock, and saw that it was barely past nine in the morning. She had a little under two hours left to meet her friend, and sighed. She wanted to make herself at least half way presentable to meet with her old friend. Katie knew deep down that Alicia would never care how she looked, and she was grateful for her friend. However, it was not because Katie felt self-conscious on how she appeared, but how her friend would take one look at her and question her to death on the past year without Fred around. Katie wanted to avoid that subject as much as possible, and dodged questions about Fred Weasley as if they were the plague.

Because of this, Katie Bell had not seen George, or any of the Weasley's for that matter, in quite some time.

_My God, it's been well over a month, hasn't it? You're a rotten person, Bell. You know that? _Katie once again shook her head of those thoughts, and grabbed her wand. She secured the towel wrapped around her body, and sat on her bed. Flicking the wand round in the air, she felt her hair dry out and straighten itself. She was thankful that some years ago, back at Hogwarts, Angelina and Alicia had taught Katie that spell. It came to be quite useful over the years.

Checking her hair to make sure it was just how she liked it, she hopped off of her bed. She threw a few shirts and blouses down onto the bed, and then did the same with some skirts and pairs of pants. She looked over her options, and decided on a pair of dark wash jeans with a dark red blouse, which had it's sleeves rolled up past her elbows. She slipped on some sandals, and took one last look at herself in the mirror before heading downstairs of her small house.

Once down in the kitchen, she pulled out her wand and started to clean up a bit. It had been ages since she had _really _cleaned around the house. Sure, Katie had cleaned dishes and done some light cleaning here and there, but she was determined to keep the house just exactly how it had been almost a year ago. She had only been in Fred's room once since his death, and since then, she hasn't stepped foot in there. The kitchen still remained cluttered, and the chairs were still pulled out into the positions they had been in the last morning they shared their kitchen together. His keys still hung up on the wall, and his coat was still on the rack by the door. She swished her wand a few more times, finishing up the dishes and sweeping the floor clean.

Once all the cleaning was finished up, she looked over at the clock. She was due to meet Alicia in about twenty minutes, and Katie decided that she should leave now, so that she could track down this cafe in muggle-London.

She grabbed her purse and some Floo-Powder, and walked into the fireplace in the living room. She stood in the fireplace for a moment before being hit with another memory.

_It was Christmas Eve, and all of the guests had just finished leaving the house. Katie said her goodbyes, and shut the front door from the cold winter night. It was snowing outside, and she would feel a draft enter from time to time. Among the departing guests, Fred had told her a little over an hour ago that he would be back soon, and he just had to go check a few things at the shop. She gave him a kiss on the cheek goodbye, and before she knew it, he had apparated away. _

_Katie sighed, and rubbed her hands up and down her arms a few times, feeling a little chilly. She had some dishes being washed and put away, and the garbage was being piled up into the can. She walked into her and Fred's living room, grabbed an old book from the bookcase, and sat herself down on the overstuffed armchair. After reading a chapter or so in her book, she glanced up at the clock. It was past midnight now, and Fred still hadn't returned. _

_She looked out the window at the snow falling harder now. She shook her head, thinking that Fred had gotten carried away at the shop again, and on Christmas Eve_—_wait Christmas_—_and scowled. How could Fred just up and leave during a Christmas party, and have the nerve to leave her here all alone like this? Normally this sort of thing wouldn't bother Katie, but this had gone a little too far, even for Fred. For Merlin's sake, it was the holidays, and he couldn't bother to just spend it with her here? _

_Frustrated at her boyfriend's lack of appearance, Katie glared down at her book. He could be so ridiculous sometimes! Shaking her head, she began to read again. After some time, she glanced up at the clock again, and yawned. _

_Just as she did this, a loud 'CRACK' sounded through the room and a bright light flashed quickly. Her head shot over to the fireplace, where she assumed the sound came from._

_Drawing her wand, Katie closed her book and waited to see who was using their fireplace. There was a war going on, and things had become much more dangerous lately. No one was safe any longer. _

_Just as she was about to ask who was there, a familiar figure stumbled out of the fireplace, coughing. _

"_Stupid bloody fireplace.." A grin spread over Katie's face, and she tucked her wand away. _

"_Fred?" Katie called out excitedly. Fred looked over to his girlfriend, and a goofy grin spread its way across his face. Katie jumped off of the armchair, book falling to the floor, and bounded over to Fred. _

_He laughed, and caught her. She smiled up at him, and pulled him into a hug. "Merry Christmas, love." He smiled warmly down at her, and she returned it with a peck on the cheek. _

_She looked up at him, and giggled. "Nice hat, Santa Claus." He gave her a goofy grin. _

"_D'ya like it? You always tell me about that bloke who would leave presents under the tree." He glanced over at the chimney, and then back to her. He kissed her forehead, and pulled away from the hug. He walked over to the fireplace and pulled out a large sack. "Mum always told Georgie and I that he came in through the chimney." A huge smile spread its way across Katie Bell's face. Fred had gone through all this trouble just so he could play Santa Claus for a night. _

_He pulled a small package out of the bag, and walked over to his girlfriend. He handed the package to her, and she took it with a smile. _

"_Now, it's not much, but I thought you might enjoy it." He gave her a small smile, and that's all she needed to open it. Katie tore at the wrapping paper, and opened the little box. Inside it was a small glass ball with two little figures standing in it. They were sitting in a tree, leaning against one another, smiling and laughing. The red-headed boy looked down at the brown-haired girl beside him, and gave her a soft kiss. Katie felt a tear roll down her cheek. _

_The two people in the glass ball were her and Fred last summer. _

_Fred let out a nervous chuckle. "Well now, I didn't think you'd hate it _that _much, dearie." A huge smile found its way onto Katie's face, and she threw her arms around Fred's neck. _

"_I love it." She whispered into his neck. His arms wrapped around her waist. _

"_I love you." He whispered back. "Merry Christmas, Kates."_

Pulling herself back into reality, Katie Bell wiped a tear from her eye. She straightened up, and threw some Floo-Powder down.

"Diagon Alley." She spoke out clearly. And with that, Katie Bell found herself in a fireplace somewhere in Diagon Alley.

She made her way through the bustling streets, and found herself in the Leaky Cauldron. She kept her eyes down, not wanting to stop to talk to anyone she might know in here. Stepping out of the back door to the Leaky Cauldron into Muggle London, she took a deep breath. She pulled out Alicia's letter from my purse, unfolded it, and skimmed it a few times.

_Down the street a while, then take a right. It's the second shop down_—_you can't miss it._

Katie sighed, and stuffed her letter back into the purse. Walking down the streets of London, she rounded the corner and immediately spotted the small coffee shop.

"Starbucks..." She muttered under my breath. What odd names these muggles come up with. Shrugging, she pushed open the door, hearing the bell above it ring. Katie scanned the small coffee shop, and immediately saw Alicia sitting at a table for two. Their eyes met, and she grinned at her old friend and waved. Katie took a deep breath and put on the best smile she could at the time. She walked over to her best friend, Alicia.

"Katie!" Alicia Spinnet squealed. She shot up from her chair, and threw her arms around her small framed friend.

Katie could feel herself hugging back tightly. She smiled. "Ali, I haven't seen you in _ages._ How've you been?"

The two old friends sat down at the table. Alicia couldn't stop smiling. "Oh, the usual. I've just been _so _busy lately, you know?" She chirped. Katie nodded her head and chuckled. "I'm applying to Hogwarts, you know. I hear they need some new teachers. After the war and all..." Alicia shot a nervous glance up at Katie, who cringed slightly at the mention of the war.

"But never mind all that," Alicia waved her hand in the air, trying to push the touchy subject off for now. "I should be asking how _you've_ been, darling. What's been new? I haven't seen you since..." Katie sighed. _Since Fred's funeral, _is what she wanted to say.

Katie forced a smile on her face. "Nothing much. Still working for the Daily Prophet, you know. But I'm thinking about quitting. The pay sucks, and it's not that glamorous of a job, either." She forced another smile on her face. "So Ali, what's the big news you've been dying to tell me? You couldn't have dragged me out here just to tell me that you're applying to _Hogwarts, _could you?"Alicia laughed, and then two coffees were placed at their table.

Katie cocked an eyebrow at her friend, who just thanked the waiter.

"What?" Alicia giggled. "I was thirsty, and I took the liberty of ordering you one, too."

Katie groaned. "'Lic, you _know _I don't like coffee. I'm more of—"

"—a tea person, I know." She giggled. "Just _trust _me, Katie! You'll like it, I swear."

Katie let out another groan, and sipped the hot liquid. The warm liquid ran down her throat, and she sighed happily. She rolled her eyes at her friend, who sat there smiling like an idiot.

"Well?"

"You were right, okay?" Alicia smirked, and Katie rolled her eyes. "Just don't let it get to your head, hun." Katie laughed. She actually _laughed._

"Anyways," Alicia sipped her coffee once more. Katie did the same. _I'm going to have to remember this place. Not half bad, for muggles. _"you're right that I had to tell you something." Alicia fiddled with her hands underneath the table for a moment.

"Well, spit it out then! Let's hear it!"

A grin broke out onto the other girl's face. "_I'm pregnant, Katie_!" Katie sat there, shocked. P-pregnant? _Alicia _was _pregnant?_

Suddenly, it hit her. She threw her arms around her old friend. "Alicia!" Katie squealed. "I'm so _happy _for you!" The two girls laughed and hugged for a moment longer.

"Isn't it _great?_" Alicia was beaming. "I'm due around Christmas!" Katie smiled warmly at her friend. Alicia and her husband—Lee, another old friend from Hogwarts—were going to have a baby together.

The two friends caught up with one another, and made small talk for the next hour. They were laughing, and hugging, and having a good old time—just like they used to.

Katie laughed loudly, trying not to cry. "Oh," Katie gasped for air in between laughs. "Fred would have _loved _that!" The laughter died out shortly after Katie's comment. Sobered out now, the girls sat there in silence for a moment before Alicia spoke up.

"S-so how are you, Katie?" She shot a look over at her friend, who's mouth was opening as if to speak. "I mean, _really,_ how are you? Since, you know..."

Katie sighed and looked up at her friend. "Honestly 'Lic," She looked down at her coffee. "I really don't know anymore. Not a day goes by where I don't think of him, you know?" Katie looked out the window now, trying not to look at her friend. She knew if she did, she would start to cry. Katie Bell _never _cries in front of other people.

"There's days when I don't even get out of bed because I miss him so much. I haven't even been over to see George, or Angelina. I feel horrible about it, too." I could feel Alicia's hand on mine now, and she squeezed it reassuringly. I still refused to look at her. "A-and I _know _that I just can't go over there b-because George looks _just like him, _'Lic." Katie sniffled now, and blinked back tears. Finally she looked over to her friend, who was staring sadly back at her. "I just don't know what to_ do _anymore. I'm so stupid, and so weak."

Alicia took a deep breath, but never took her eyes from Katie's. "Katie," She began. "you are _not _stupid, and you most definitely are _not _weak, either. You need to know that. You are one of the strongest people I have ever known in my life, Katie." She laughed to herself, and gave me a small, sad smile. "Katie, whenever I would fight with Lee, or have doubts about him," She took another deep breath. "I would always think of you. You and Fred, Katie. I would think back to how you two could pull through _anything _together. You had never given up on him, Kate. Even when you thought he was madly in love with Ange, back when they went to the ball together at Hogwarts." Katie gave a sad laugh at this, and Alicia smiled warmly at her. "Your love inspired me to love my own life, Kate."

"_Oi, Angelina!" Katie could feel her heart fall into her stomach. She could hear the words even before Fred let them out of his mouth. One of her best friends, Angelina Johnson, looked over to Fred. _

_She fluttered her eyelashes a few times at him, and smiled. "Yes?"_

_Fred mouthed the words to her, and gestured him and her dancing together at the ball. My heart sunk even lower than it already was. She looked sadly over at Angelina, who looked him up and down a few times. She nodded her agreement, and Katie looked over to Alicia for help. She gave her a sad smile in return, and shook her head. Alicia had then proceeded to get her to agree to go to the ball with George throughout the course of the next week._

Katie looked over to Alicia once again. "You really think that, 'Lic?" Alicia gave one of the warmest smiles that Katie had ever seen.

"Of course I do, Kate. I always have." They smiled warmly at one another.

After a while longer, the two friends decided to part, and exchanged goodbyes. They agreed they would stay in touch, and to get together in the near future.

Katie made her way to the door of the coffee shop. Just as she was about to leave, she heard her friend call out after her.

"And Katie?" Katie shot a look over her shoulder. "Try to come around more. Preferably _before _the baby is born, dear." Katie grinned at her friend, and gave a wave as she left the coffee shop.

Making her way back to Diagon Alley, Katie stepped back into the Leaky Cauldron. She heard her name being called almost instantly.

"Katie? Katie _Bell_? Is that you?" Katie's eyes flew up to a young woman standing behind the bar. She recognized her almost instantly. Hannah Abbott.

"Hannah Abbott?" Hannah nodded excitedly from behind the bar. Katie made her way over to talk with the girl.

She laughed. "Hannah, I haven't seen you in _ages_!" Hannah giggled and nodded. Katie gestured to the glasses, which were being cleaned by the young witch. "You work here?" Hannah nodded again and smiled at Katie.

"Just started a month ago. Neville works here too, you know." A warm smile spread across her face at his name. "We're going to own this place, one day. Neville and I." She sighed happily, and Katie chuckled.

"So, you and Neville are...?" She nodded happily, a far-off look in her eyes.

"Yup. Have been for a while, now." She smiled sadly at her. "How are you doing, Katie? I heard about you and Fred..." It was Katie's turn to give her a sad smile.

"Um, better, I think. It's been tough, though." Katie looked away from the young woman.

Hannah sighed sadly. "I can only imagine. I couldn't live with myself if Neville..." Katie looked up at her, and Hannah gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry. You're looking good, though." Some more customers walked in, and Hannah glanced between them and Katie for a moment. Katie smiled at her, and decided she'd better let the girl do her job.

"Well, I'd better be going now." She smiled warmly at Hannah. "Tell Neville I say hello." The girl nodded, and waved goodbye.

Katie slipped past the noisy group of customers and out onto the bustling street of Diagon Alley. Here she walked aimlessly for a while, until she passed an all-too familiar shop.

Katie sighed, and took another step forward. She opened the door to the loud, crazy store.

"Oi! What did I tell you kids about that _before_—" George scrambled over to grab some merchandise out of little kid's hands. Katie laughed, and walked over to the counter, leaning her elbows down on it.

"—I'll be with ya in a sec! Just let me get these kids—" George ran up to the counter, and huffed. He looked up at his old friend, and gave a big, happy smile at her.

"Kates!" George flung his arms around her. She felt herself hug back, and immediately felt guilty for the lack of time she had spent with him. He was after all, one of her best friends. Not even Fred's death could change that. "How have you been, dear? I've missed you so much!"

Katie heard herself laugh, and she looked at George. _He was so much like him, _she thought. _And not just because they're twins. They had always acted as if they were one person most of the time. _Another pang of guilt stabbed at her heart.

"I've been good, Georgie. How's the shop been? And Ange?" He grinned at the mention of his fiancee. Only a month ago had he proposed to her, on his birthday.

"Ange is good, and the shop's been great." He still hadn't stopped grinning at her. "I've missed you, Kates."

She smiled at him again, and laughed. "Yeah, you mentioned that once or twice..." She pulled him into another hug again. "I've missed you, Georgie." She whispered. "_So much._"

They pulled away from their hug, and he gave her a small smile. They proceeded to catch up with one another.

"—and mum's making dinner tomorrow, and she'd like for you to come." She smiled at him. She hadn't been to the Weasley's in over a month. "You know, since it's been a year and everything..." He smiled apologetically at her. "We all thought it might be nice. I know he would have liked that, Kates." She smiled sadly at him, and looked out at the customers in the shop.

George's eyes looked Katie up and down once before he spoke. "You know, Kates, don't take this the wrong way, but you look..."

"Different?" She felt different. She wasn't the same Katie she had been a year ago. Without Fred, the color was drained out of her life. Everything was bland without him. Boring. Lonesome.

He simply nodded back at her, and she smiled at him the best she could. "I know."

"Well," He began slowly, not sure of how to steer the conversation away from this topic. "I'd best be getting back to work." He laughed. "Ange would kill me if she saw me talking your ear off." Katie gave him a short, small smile. "So you'll come? To dinner, that is."

She gave him a peck on the cheek, followed by a smile. "Of course, Georgie. Wouldn't miss it for the world."

A grin broke out on his face. She couldn't help but laugh. "Alright, then, great!" He gave her a short hug. "You know the time and place. I'll be seeing you, Kates!" He waved, and walked off to help some customers out.

She smiled and gave a small wave. "See you tomorrow, George! Tell Ange I say hi!" She could see him nod and wave back to her, and with that, she left Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

Once Katie arrived back at her house, she started a fire and grabbed an apple out of the basket of fruit on the counter. She sighed, and tossed her things on the counter, taking a bite from the apple. She looked around the kitchen and sighed again.

Once the apple was finished, she tossed it into the garbage and rinsed her hands off. With a new found sense of the old Gryffindor courage, she made her way up the stairs, and found herself in front of Fred's room.

She stood there, standing outside the door with her hand on the handle for what seemed like an hour. _Perhaps it was, _Katie mused to herself. She was nervous, that was sure. She didn't know why, but she was determined to prove her nerves wrong. With a deep breath, she turned the knob and took a small step into his old room.

It was dark in there, and Katie flicked the lights on. She took another breath, and was overwhelmed with Fred's presence hanging in the room. Her nose was met with the smell of fireworks and ginger; a smell she vowed she would never let herself forget about.

Taking another small step forward, she took a look around the somewhat messy room. There were old shirts and a pair of pants strewn about the room, and some old papers and plans for the joke shop were scattered about here and there. Katie made her way over to his bed, and timidly sat down. She was holding back tears now, and was determined to not let them fall. She sat on the bed for God knows how long before she decided to get up.

She slowly made her way around the room, memorizing everything in it, and started to clean up. One by one she picked up discarded clothes and papers, and put them where they needed to be. She walked over to his desk, and lay the papers down on them in a neat stack. Katie then took some old joke protocols and opened up his drawer to place them in there when something caught her eye. Slowly she reached forward to grab it, and her small shaking hand was met with a small, black little box.

She heard herself give a short intake of breath, and she pulled the box closer to inspect it.

_It couldn't be.._ She thought to herself. Biting down on her lip, she carefully opened the box's lid.

Katie Bell felt a tear roll down her cheek at what she saw. "A ring..." She croaked. She smiled a truly heart breaking smile and carefully took the ring out of its black velvet box.

Slowly she slid the gold band with a round diamond atop it onto her ring finger. She could feel the tears streaming down her face more frequently now, and she couldn't take her eyes off of the ring.

_He was going to propose, _she thought sadly to herself. And then he had gone off and...

Katie walked over to his bed, and sat down. She sat there on his bed, crying and looking at her ring until she fell asleep.

She knelt down on the cool grass, and laid a single rose against the headstone. Katie looked up at the cool, gray sky and then let her gaze fall back down to the headstone in front of her. The stone was a cool gray, and it looked like any other. But Katie knew better. This is where Fred was.

She took a deep breath before speaking. "Fred, darling, it's Katie." Her voice was shaky, but she knew that she needed to continue. "I don't know if you're really up there listening to me, but I'd like to pretend that you can. It's kinda comforting, thinking that you can hear me right now. Sometimes I like to talk to you." She smiled sadly, and looked down at the headstone. "I-I know that you're not really here, Fred, but I really wish you were. I'm so lonely here without you." Her voice continued to quiver, but she swallowed back tears before continuing.

"It's almost been a year, Freddie." Another sad smile, remembering how much he detested his nickname. "The day..." A deep breath. "The day you _died, _Fred, I told myself that I couldn't go on without you. I didn't think I could even last a week without you here." Her voice was breaking in and out, and her body was shaking now. "Just look at me now, though, Fred. I'm here, without you, almost a year later. I miss you. _So much._" With that said, she let a tear fall.

Katie Bell sat in silence for a moment before continuing on. "I'm just not the same without you Fred. Everyday I try to tell myself that it's going to be okay, but I know that it's not. You were the color to my life, Fred. The day you left me was the day you took the color with you." Another tear fell. "You're my everything, darling. I'm just so _lost _without you here to tell me where to go." Her voice continued to shake against her attempts to steady it.

"What do you do up there? I'd like to think that you're looking down on your family, and I try to tell myself that you're still here with me, watching out for me." She let out a sad, disheartened laugh. "It's kinda stupid, Fred, I know. God, I can almost _hear _you laughing at me. Before today, I couldn't remember the last time I laughed. Honest Fred, I can't." The tears were streaming down freely now, and she shut her eyes for a moment before continuing again.

"When you left, Fred, and you took the color away, you took part of me too. The better half, I'm afraid to say. George and Alicia tell me that I look different; that I don't look the same as I used to. I suppose they're right, Fred. I mean, ave you seen me lately?" She took a deep breath, and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'll tell you what _I _see, Fred. I see what I used to be. I see the Katie who used to smile, and laugh, and have fun. The Katie who used to love, and make other people _happy._ But I'm not that girl, anymore, I'm just not." She fingered the rose a few times, feeling the soft petals against her skin. "When I look at myself now, all I see is this empty shell. You left that empty shell, Fred." She shut her eyes tightly and shook her head.

"I didn't mean that. Honestly, I'm sorry Fred." She wiped another tear away. "I used to be _so _angry with you, did you know that?" She looked up at the gray sky now, and smiled shakily. "I was so upset that you'd gone and gotten yourself killed on me, and I wanted to hate you. I just couldn't do it though. I tried _so hard_."

Katie sat in silence for a moment before speaking again. Softly, she spoke to him. "I suppose you're up there having a good laugh at me now, aren't you?" Another sad smile made its home on her face. "God, what I wouldn't give to hear you laugh _once more._ I know that's impossible though, because you're dead." The tears had stopped now; she was forcing them back.

"Some days I wished I was dead, too. Just so I could be with you again." She swallowed back tears again, feeling her throat tighten. "But then I tell myself that if I were to go off and die, just so I could see you, that you'd be angry with me, and not even want to talk with me. And that's what keeps me here, Fred. I tell myself those things sometimes. I talk myself into being the old Katie for you. The Katie you fell for." She gave yet another heartbreaking smile and sighed.

Shakily, she began again. "I went to see Alicia yesterday. We talked, and wouldn't you believe it, Fred? Alicia's getting married! To _Lee_!" She glanced over at his headstone before continuing. "I-I went to see George, too." She said softly. She blinked back more tears. "George's engaged, to Ange, of course, but I'm sure he's told you all about it. Sometimes, right after you had died, I'd hear George talking to you. I thought he was crazy at first, but then I found myself talking to you, too. It helps."

Katie touched the ring on her finger and bit her lip. A few tears rolled down her cheeks before she spoke. "I was in your room last night F-Freddie." She laughed, despite the tears. "I was cleaning up when I found the r-ring." Her voice was uncontrollably shaky now, and the tears flowed freely once again. "I just wanted to tell you that I would have said yes, Fred." Her voice continued to shake, and she could barely form a coherent sentence. "I love you, Fred Weasley, and I do. With all my heart, I do."

She was whispering now, trying to stop the tears from coming, but to no avail. "I'm going over to your parent's house tonight for dinner." Katie glanced down at her small watch, and laughed through the tears. "I-I'm going to be late if I don't leave now, baby." She leaned over and gave a small kiss to the headstone. "I love you _so much._ Don't forget that Fred. And I promise I'm going to see you." She wiped away the tears, and smiled. "I don't know if it's going to be today, or tomorrow, or even in eighty years, but I will see you. Even if you've moved on, know that I won't."

Katie Bell stood up, took a deep breath, and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Until then, my Fred, know that I love you. I _always will_." She blew a kiss out into the air, and turned her back and began to walk away.

Katie Bell found herself outside of the Burrow a few minutes later. She smiled, and took a deep breath. She knocked on the door, and was met with the face of Molly Weasley.

"Katie, dear!" Mrs. Weasley cried out happily. She threw her arms around the small girl, and pulled back from the hug. She looked Katie up and down, her gaze finally settling on the ring. "Welcome home."

Katie smiled warmly at Mrs. Weasley, and back at the other people in the house who all saw the ring on her hand and smiled back at her knowingly.

Yes, Katie Bell was home. Because wherever Fred's presence could be felt, Katie was home.


End file.
